The Boston Tea Party, Declaration of Independence, and United States Consitution

A few hundred years ago, the British told America, "Give us money." Later, America said, "No." And they dumped some tea in a harbor, and then in 1776, they told the British, "We declare independence. This is America! Fuck off! Sincerely, Thomas Jefferson, George Washington, John Hancock, Gilligan, and the Skipper too." The British got that Declaration of Independence, and they sent back a letter that said, "Firstly, we'd like to compliment Mr. Hancock on his impressive penmanship. We especially enjoyed the swirly business at the end of his K. And secondly, let us point out that we're Great Britain. We're great. Are you guys great? Are you Great America? No. You're just America. Therefore, we refuse to fuck off. Now give us our cash and get back to work." Then the colonies won the Revolutionary War and passed the Constitution. It says, "This is America! Alright? No king and queen bullshit. In America, we go with the people's bullshit--a.k.a. democracy. Furthermore--Executive, Legislative, Judicial. And furthermore, the amendments. Which are, Americans have the right to say stuff, not say stuff, vote for stuff, keep their stuff, and shoot some stuff. And also drink stuff."